You’re Not In Control Of Your Mind
An invisible power guides your thoughts, actions and abilities. When you’re under pressure, it can even work against you.
This secret force is the subconscious mind.
I will show you how and why it quietly shapes your thoughts, behaviour and abilities in every waking moment.
With compelling real-life stories and scenarios, I’ll show you how to harness its power and regain control – to be at your confident and inspiring best when the pressure is on.
It all starts here, with Three Seconds To Save a Life: Jacqui’s Story.
In the sombre quiet of her car, Jacqui sat motionless
The only sound in the dark was the soft breathing of her children. They were asleep and blissfully unaware of the hosepipe snaking in from the exhaust.
Jacqui knew they were alone in this secluded spot, undisturbed until morning. And she was determined to follow a path to eternal rest.
No one was around to find her, to convince her to think again and turn her away from that tragic path.
But please take a moment to consider this. What if a saviour did emerge? A hero to convince Jacqui to reconsider, to pause and give herself and her children time to work things out?
Just how hard a task would that be?
And what if that hero was you, dear reader? Picture the enormity of the task, the pressure you’d be under. Where would you start? How would you find the composure, the right words?
Simpler Times
Jacqui’s story began in simpler times. A resilient single mother, she had raised Robbie alone. Tony, a reformed gambling addict, came into their lives, bringing hope and companionship.
Together, they began to make a contented life, supporting each other through often challenging times. Two more children came along, and they were sure their struggles were behind them.
Although money was tight, their home in The Midlands (UK) was happy. Working at the local car factory, Tony had found a community and stability, even as the industry’s economic tides ebbed and flowed.
But fate is often unkind. A few years later, a sudden job loss shook Tony. Desperation led him to fall once more for the false promises of gambling. He gave in to the tempting fantasy that games of chance would win him the money he needed for his family.
In the clutches of his old demons, his descent back into addiction was rapid, dragging the family into a menacing world of ruthless moneylenders and debt.
The loan sharks were cold and callous, lurking in the shadows of backroom gambling and drug dealing. When they came to collect, Tony vanished, hoping to protect his family and buy time to find the money he needed to pay them off.
Tony was nowhere to be found.
But the predators weren’t to be frustrated. In a cruel twist of fate, they found Robbie. They saw him as the way to get their money. So they took him.
The police response was immediate, with negotiators stepping in, trying desperately to secure Robbie’s safe release.
Enter Eddard, The Top Police Negotiator
Eddard, a seasoned police negotiator, was no stranger to desperate situations. His career had been a series of life-and-death scenarios across the UK and worldwide. He was ready and prepared for the worst cases.
Yet, Robbie’s negotiation never got started and quickly went out of control. The vultures were high on drugs and alcohol and were not to be reasoned with. Despite Eddard’s best efforts, the talks ended in a heart-wrenching tragedy.
I shall spare you the harrowing details but know that his passing left an indelible scar on everyone involved.
Jacqui’s life, once filled with hope, now lay in ruins
Unable to live with what he’d done, Tony soon followed Robbie in a tragic echo of loss. Now Jacqui was alone with her grief and their two young children.
Fast forward 18 months, and we find Jacqui in that quiet, dark place, her young children in their child seats, asleep in the back of her car.
Their innocence, in the face of a cruel world, terrified Jacqui. She thought of Robbie momentarily and the love she felt for him. And she thought of Tony – of his journey to redemption from gambling and then again to despair. She forgave him.
She was poised and ready to turn on the engine.
Jacqui’s phone lay in her lap as she thought about a final message to her best friend.
Suddenly, it rang. Instinctively, she answered. It was Eddard.
Jacqui Picked Up, Eddard Got to Work
Yet again, Eddard found himself entwined in Jacqui’s world. So much water had flown under the bridge since the tragic day of Robbie’s loss.
Eddard had done many, many jobs in that time. A roller coaster of high and low emotions. Robbie’s case was still at the back of his mind but buried under time and events.
The situation was unfolding quickly. Eddard’s only leads were a hastily sketched outline and a phone number given by a concerned friend.
The connection to Jacqui, and through her to Robbie, remained unmade in his mind.
The 7 Skills to impress™
Focused and methodical, Eddard began his process. He leaned on his vast experience and the emerging strands of what I would later name ‘The 7 Skills to impress™’.
He always began with the first three Skills of impress™. They are “Identity Your Outcome”, “Manage Your State”, and “Practice Rapport”. This powerful trio is often shortened to “IMP”.
Eddard said that IMP changed the whole dynamic of his work. They allowed him to control his emotions, think clearly, and thrive under pressure.
He began with an Outcome (Skill 1), clearly, he wanted Jacqui to tell him where she was so he could send immediate help.
He was Managing his State, Skills 2, by doing 7 – 11 breathing.
And Practice Rapport, Skill 3, was his dependable tool that he had mastered over countless high-stakes situations. He regarded its effect as almost magical.
He was ready.
And Rapport was what he focused upon now with Jacqui right away. Gently, he coaxed her into speaking.
As Eddard slowly built Rapport, he began breaking down her defensive wall. He was laying the foundations for her confidence and trust in him to grow.
Everything seemed to be going well.
Unknown to Eddard, Jacqui recognised Eddard’s voice from that fateful negotiation 18 months before
To her, he seemed different now, his tone more personal, his words reaching out to her with unexpected warmth.
They spoke of her children, of the small joys that life still held. Eddard, quietly, was weaving a thread of hope into their conversation.
But he was increasingly puzzled about something. Jacqui was talking as if she knew him. His mind was racing.
For a Fleeting Second, Edward Was Shaken
Just as hope seemed to flicker, Eddard’s memory of Jacqui and the loss of Robbie came flooding back. All the horror of that day momentarily filled his thoughts.
He was shaken for a fleeting second. Eddard, always the model of composure in the face of crisis, was surprised by the tightness in his throat.
His brief lapse was subtle, a rare ripple in his usual calm. In an instant, he regained his focus. But he knew this brief stumble had weakened the Rapport he’d carefully built with Jacqui.
And then she said something that made his blood run cold;
I know what you’re trying to do, thank you, but I know what I have to do. Please don’t blame yourself. I’m going to put the phone down ….
The line went ominously silent.
There was no doubt in anyone’s mind about what this meant! The tension was palpable.
In that critical moment, Eddard had mere seconds to respond. Later, we agreed that he had no more than three seconds to come up with whatever he could to save their lives.
Remember what I said at the opening of this chapter? What if it was your job to divert Jacqui from her dark path? How would you keep your composure? What would you say?
You’ve got three seconds…..!
Secretive and Powerful Forces: Unveiling the Subconscious Mind
In those few desperate moments, mere words were all Eddard had to create a miracle and change Jacqui’s mind.
How could anyone be expected to deflect someone off a path they are determined to follow with simple wordplay?
But Eddard’s goal was to use words that harnessed something more powerful. He wanted to engage an unseen force that silently guides our deepest decisions and reactions, often beyond our conscious awareness.
This force is the secretive and powerful subconscious mind.
We were well aware of its startling power. We had witnessed it reduce capable colleagues to bumbling fools in moments of stress. And provoke wild and erratic behaviour in people we were trying to help or arrest.
But we also saw that if you could harness it, the subconscious mind could be a powerful ally, capable of steering people toward our ethical path, even against their will.
And this is what Eddard used The “7 Skills” for. First, he continued to use IMP to tap into his subconscious and enhance his performance.
Secondly, he employed the remainder of the 7 Skills. He used Skill 4, Reveal Persuasion Pathways, to analyse Jacqui’s language and assess the best way to influence her.
Then, using Skills 5, 6 and 7 – The Elevate Formula, Stay in Accord and Speechcraft – he searched for the words that would most effectively reach and influence her subconscious.
With these words, he would recruit her deepest subliminal forces. They would work with him to divert Jacqui off the path to oblivion and onto one that led to a better future for her and her children.
In a heartbeat, Eddard started to talk. All around him, his team were in disarray, unable to think or speak. But Eddard knew precisely what he would say next:
I know you’re going to put the phone down, and before you do, I’d like to ask you one question…
And as simple as they seem, these three phrases were perfect.
They were each designed to harness Jacqui’s subconscious from a different direction.
The 7 Skills to impress™ and the Subconscious Mind
We’re leaving Jacqui and Eddard for a short while. We will return to them in Part 2 of “The 7 Skills” book.
There, I’ll reveal Jacqui’s reply and what Eddard said next. We’ll see how he kept calm, planned his every move and how his “simple words” changed her mind.
And we’ll look at each of the 7 Skills to impress™’ in depth.
I will show you how The 7 Skills to impress™’ unlock abilities you may not yet realise you possess and give you a newfound control over your actions.
You will see how each tool within the ‘7 Skills to impress™’ harnesses the power of the subconscious mind.
Part 1 The Subconscious Mind
In Part 1 you’ll learn to understand the power of Eddard’s words, how and why they worked, how he had the composure to think of and deliver them so effectively.
To do that, we must delve deeper into the recesses of the subconscious mind, and that’s what we’ll begin to do in the next chapter.
Through engaging stories and real-life examples, the insights from Part 1 of this book are keys to understanding how and why the 7 Skills set you up to thrive in tough times. By that, I mean to be confident, perform and inspire in adversity.
You will learn how Eddard found the composure and the “simple words’ – within that three-second window – to steer Jacqui away from the brink.
So, come with me to the next chapter, where I begin to unravel the intricacies of the subconscious mind and transform your sense of stress and resilience.
It’s a must-read for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of modern life with grace and confidence.
UP NEXT: Chapter 1.
Basic Instinct: Stress or Success?