Your subconscious mind is running on software 12,000 years out of date, sabotaging your best efforts without you even realising it.
Old Maps, New World
Imagine buying a stunning classic car from the 1930s, lovingly updated with modern features. You opt for something quirky: a sat nav which includes the original road maps from that era.
One sunny morning, you take your dream car for a country drive. You select the old maps, set your route to a scenic spot, and set off. But soon you face a problem, the quiet lanes on your map are now fast motorways.
Roundabouts have turned into sprawling intersections. Quaint villages have grown into towns, and every turn confuses you. The journey becomes stressful, as if some invisible force were steering you off course.
Finally, you switch to the current maps. Instantly, your journey becomes smooth and effortless, and you reach your destination with ease.
This is how many of us navigate stress: guided by outdated “maps” in our subconscious minds. We try to make sense of a modern world using outdated patterns of thought and reaction.
No matter how hard we try, our efforts don’t take us where we want to go.
Because it’s not just that our subconscious runs old software, it’s that it edits the very reality we experience.
We all need up-to-date “maps,” mindsets aligned with our present-day skills and abilities. So we can navigate life’s challenges with calm, grace, and efficiency.
Have you ever wondered why stress can be a catalyst for extraordinary success for some but a crippling straitjacket for others? What makes the difference?
In this chapter, we’ll delve into these questions. We’ll begin to peel away the layers of your subconscious, revealing how it holds the reins of your ability to handle stress.
You’ll learn why some people soar and others stumble when faced with adversity. It’s about the roads we travel and the subconscious maps we use to navigate them.
All this and more is unravelled in ‘Basic Instinct: Stress or Success.’
Ananya’s Shackles, Eddard’s Wings
I remember meeting Ananya at a workshop about stress and performance. She was a shy figure whose gaze often lingered on the floor.
The presenter, a dynamic speaker with a flair for the dramatic, had a setup to demonstrate how stress impacts your heart rate and mental state.
There was a catch. A volunteer had to stand at the front, connected to a heart monitor, their heart rate projected onto a giant screen for everyone to see.
I remember the tension in the room when the presenter asked for a volunteer. I kept my head down because I didn’t fancy it one bit.
But beside me sat Eddard, the unflappable police negotiator introduced in the previous chapter. His eyes sparkled with curiosity at the prospect of having a go. But he was pipped to the post by Ananya.
Ananya was a reluctant volunteer. She was there with a group from work. When the presenter asked for someone to help with the demo, they nudged her forward.
She walked slowly to the front, every step betraying reluctance. Once connected to the heart monitor, her heartbeat, a rapid staccato in the nervous 90s, was laid bare on the giant screen for all to see.
It was obvious to everyone that she was anxious, but worse was to come. As the presenter finished his introduction, he turned to Ananya and asked her to count backwards from 1000 in threes.
Instantly, Ananya went red in the face, and her pulse soared to around 160 beats per minute.
As she stumbled through the task, “997, 994, 991,” her words tangled into a knot of anxiety. “I can’t think, I can’t think,” she blurted out, her voice a mix of panic and frustration.
The presenter quickly stepped in, allowing her to retreat to her seat, her relief visible as she disappeared into the audience.
Eddard was still keen to try his luck at the test. He approached the front with a casual, carefree stride. He was calm and unshaken, even as he revealed that counting backwards was not his strong suit.
In front of the packed room, Eddard’s pulse barely moved, but his eyes held the quiet alertness of someone used to pressure. He wasn’t fighting the moment; he embraced it.
Ananya’s anxiety imprisoned her talents; Eddard’s confidence let his abilities soar.
Eddard’s composure under pressure was not just impressive; it was inspiring.
Their different reactions in the same stressful moment reveal something deeper we all experience. It’s as if their mental maps were opposites: Ananya’s outdated, Eddard’s up-to-date.
This isn’t rare, it’s how most of us are wired.
Interviews, presentations, speeches – for many, they’re tests of nerve. Some, like Ananya, experience intense anxiety, while others, like Eddard, handle the pressure with a calm confidence.
Two people. Same situation. Two entirely different realities. What underlies these vastly different reactions?
The key is the Fight-Flight-Freeze (FFF) response, a primal reflex buried deep in the subconscious.
The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
FFF is the subconscious autopilot that kicks in under stress, trying to protect our safety and status.
What does Fight, Flight or Freeze Do to You?
FFF kept our ancestors alive. In modern life, it often works against us.
When activated, it floods your body with stress hormones, hijacks and shuts down your conscious mind, and narrows your focus onto the perceived danger.
Your conscious mind solves problems and plans ahead, precisely what FFF shuts down.
So, under its influence, you find it hard to think, even to speak.
This was beginning to happen to Ananya as soon as she was attached to the heart monitor.
Modern Challenges, Ancient Responses
Our ancestors needed FFF to survive. Today, it often works against us by silencing the very thinking we need.
An outdated sat nav might react badly to modern road conditions, just as our subconscious sometimes inappropriately triggers the FFF response in modern, non-threatening situations.
From traffic jams to job interviews, modern challenges need calm, not caveman reflexes.
Ananya’s trembling hands and racing heart were telltale signs of this response. Her conscious mind, usually logical and quick, was overwhelmed.
Your Subconscious Has a Secret!
FFF was the difference between Eddard and Ananya; his subconscious mind didn’t trigger it, so he had all his conscious talents available to him.
Why does one mind trigger FFF while another stays calm?
Because each sees a different reality.
Is our perception of reality being altered so that it triggers these automatic responses?
What is behind the FFF response? The answer lies in the concept of ‘Edited Reality’. It is about threat detection, and about how your subconscious edits reality to fit its learned patterns and beliefs.
And it turns out that this process is different for everyone.
What You’ve Just Learned and Why It Matters
Two people, same moment, two realities. Not luck or talent, something deeper:
Their subconscious minds were reading the world differently – and editing reality accordingly.
In this chapter, you uncovered the outdated survival system known as Fight, Flight or Freeze. It’s an ancient autopilot response that still runs your mind as it did 12,000 years ago.
For Ananya, Fight, Flight or Freeze hijacked her thinking the moment pressure hit, shutting down her conscious ability to perform.
But for Eddard? He stayed calm and connected. His subconscious saw opportunity, not threat. That’s why his conscious mind remained in charge.
And what about Jacqui? Her subconscious had been shaped by months of grief and trauma. She wasn’t choosing despair; her inner map simply no longer showed a path to hope. Just like Ananya, her reality was being powerfully edited from within.
We all want Eddard’s composure. But to get there, we must understand the secret software editing our every experience.
What Comes Next and Why It’s Important
In Chapter 2, The Illusion of Reality, you’ll uncover how your subconscious doesn’t just react to pressure. It creates the very world you believe you’re reacting to.
- See how childhood experiences shape beliefs, which become the lens through which your subconscious edits every situation.
- Understand why Ananya saw judgment where there was empathy, and why Eddard saw a challenge where others might see risk. You’ll also begin to understand Jacqui’s path.
- Discover how your subconscious builds your self-image, and how that shapes your confidence, decisions, and future.
If Chapter 1 showed how your mind can hijack you…
Chapter 2 shows how it first learned what to hijack you with.
This is where transformation begins: by reprogramming how you see yourself and the world. Once you shift your Edited Reality, your natural confidence, charisma, and capability can finally take flight.
UP NEXT: CHAPTER 2: The Illusion of Reality
Previous Chapter
Index
Glossary of Terms
Further Reading
McEwen, B. S., & Wingfield, J. C. (2003).
The concept of allostasis in biology and biomedicine. Hormones and Behavior, 43(1), 2–15.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0018-506X(02)00024-7
McEwen and Wingfield explain allostasis, the body’s ability to maintain stability by changing in response to pressure. It shows that stress is not simply “bad”; it is the body adjusting to demand. The problem comes when old survival responses keep being triggered in situations that need calm thinking rather than emergency action.
Dhabhar, F. S. (2009).
Enhancing versus suppressive effects of stress on immune function: Implications for immunoprotection versus immunopathology. Neuroimmunomodulation, 16(5), 300–317.
Dhabhar’s work helps explain why stress can sometimes sharpen and strengthen us, while at other times it can wear us down. Short-term stress can prepare the body for action, while prolonged or poorly managed stress can become damaging.
Roelofs, K. (2017).
Freeze for action: Neurobiological mechanisms in animal and human freezing. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 372(1718), 20160206.
Roelofs explores the freeze response as an active survival state rather than simple inaction. Freezing can prepare the body to assess danger and shift into fight or flight if needed.
Kozlowska, K., Walker, P., McLean, L., & Carrive, P. (2015).
Fear and the defense cascade: Clinical implications and management. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 23(4), 263–287.
Kozlowska and colleagues describe the defense cascade, the sequence of automatic body responses that can be triggered by perceived threat. Their work helps explain why fight, flight and freeze are not character flaws, but built-in survival patterns.