You’re Not In Control Of Your Mind
An invisible power guides your thoughts, actions and abilities. When you’re under pressure, it can even work against you.
This secret force is the subconscious mind.
I will show you how and why it quickly shapes your thoughts, behaviour and abilities in every waking moment.
I’ll show you how to harness its power and regain control: to be at your confident and inspiring best when the pressure is on.
It all starts here:
Three Seconds to Save their Lives: Jacqui’s Story
In the sombre quiet of her car, Jacqui sat motionless
The only sound in the dark was her children’s soft breathing. They were asleep and blissfully unaware of the hosepipe snaking in from the exhaust.
Jacqui knew they were alone in this secluded spot, undisturbed until morning. And she was determined to follow a path to eternal rest.
No one was around to find her, to convince her to think again and turn her away from that tragic path.
So, please take a moment to consider this. What if a saviour did emerge? A hero to convince Jacqui to reconsider, to pause and give herself and her children time to work things out?
Just how hard a job would that be?
And what if that hero was you? Picture the enormity of the challenge, the pressure you’d be under. Where would you start? How would you find the composure or the right words?
Simpler Times
Jacqui’s story began in simpler times. A resilient single mother, she had raised Robbie alone. Tony, a reformed gambling addict, came into their lives, bringing hope and companionship.
Together, they began to make a happy life, supporting each other through times that were often challenging. Two more children came along, and they were sure the worst of their troubles were behind them.
Although money was tight, their home in The Midlands of the UK was happy. Working at the local car factory, Tony had found a community and stability, even as the industry’s economic tides ebbed and flowed.
But fate is often unkind. A few years later, a sudden job loss shook Tony. Desperation led him to fall once more for the false promises of gambling. He gave in to the cruel fantasy that games of chance would win him the money he needed for his family.
In the clutches of his old demons, his descent back into addiction was rapid, dragging the family into a menacing world of ruthless moneylenders and debt.
The loan sharks were cold and callous, lurking in the shadows of backroom gambling and drug dealing. When they came to collect, Tony vanished; he hoped to protect his family and buy time to find the money he needed to pay them off.
Tony was nowhere to be found.
But the predators weren’t to be deterred. In a cruel twist of fate, they found Robbie. They saw him as the way to get their money. So they took him.
The police response was immediate, with negotiators stepping in, trying desperately to secure Robbie’s safe release.
Enter Eddard, The Police Negotiator
Eddard was a seasoned police negotiator, and by then, we had already been working together for some time on what I would later call ‘The 7 Skills to impress™.’
He was no stranger to desperate situations. Eddard’s career had been a series of life-and-death scenarios across the UK and worldwide. He was ready and prepared for the worst cases.
Yet Robbie’s negotiation never got started and quickly went out of control. The vultures were high on drugs and alcohol and were not to be reasoned with. Despite Eddard’s best efforts, the talks ended in a heart-wrenching tragedy.
I shall spare you the harrowing details, but know that his passing left an indelible scar on everyone involved.
Jacqui’s life, once filled with hope, now lay in ruins
Tony, unable to live with what he’d done, soon followed Robbie in a tragic echo of loss. Now Jacqui was alone with her grief and her two young children.
Fast forward 18 months, and we find Jacqui in that quiet, dark place, her young children in their child seats, asleep in the back of her car.
Their innocence, in the face of a cruel world, terrified Jacqui.
She thought of Robbie momentarily, how she missed him, and her love for him.
She thought of Tony, his journey to redemption from gambling and then back to despair. She forgave him.
Jacqui’s hand hovered, ready to turn on the engine.
Jacqui’s phone lay in her lap as she thought about a final message to her best friend.
Suddenly, it rang. Instinctively, she answered. It was Eddard.
Jacqui Picked Up, Eddard Got to Work
Yet again, Eddard found himself entwined in Jacqui’s world. So much water had flowed under the bridge since the tragic day of Robbie’s loss.
Eddard had done many, many jobs in that time. A roller coaster of high and low emotions. Robbie’s case was still at the back of his mind but buried under time and events.
The situation was unfolding quickly. Eddard’s only leads were a hastily sketched outline and a phone number given by a concerned friend.
The connection to Jacqui, and through her to Robbie, had not yet formed in his mind.
The 7 Skills to impress™
Focused and methodical, Eddard began his process. He leaned on his vast experience and the emerging strands of the 7 Skills to impress™.
He always began with the first three Skills:
- Identify Your Outcome
- Manage your State, and
- Practice Rapport
This powerful trio is often shortened to: IMP
Eddard said that IMP changed the whole dynamic of his work. They allowed him to think clearly, control his emotions, and thrive under pressure while building magnetic connections with people.
He began with an Outcome (Skill 1), and clearly, he wanted Jacqui to tell him where she was so he could send immediate help.
He managed his State (Skill 2) with 7 – 11 breathing.
Practice Rapport, Skill 3, was a dependable tool he had mastered over countless high-stakes situations. He regarded its effect as almost magical.
Eddard steadied his breathing. He’d done this a hundred times, but rarely with this much at stake.
Rapport was what he focused on with Jacqui right away. Gently, he coaxed her into speaking.
As Eddard slowly built Rapport, he began breaking down her defensive wall. He was laying the foundations for her confidence and trust in him to grow.
Everything seemed to be going well.
But, unknown to Eddard, Jacqui had recognised his voice from that fateful negotiation 18 months before
He seemed different to her now, his tone more personal, his words reaching out to her with unexpected warmth.
Eddard was gently weaving a thread of hope into their conversation.
But he was becoming increasingly puzzled about something. He didn’t understand why Jacqui was talking, as if she knew him. His mind was racing.
For a Fleeting Second, Eddard Was Shaken
Just as hope seemed to flicker, Eddard’s memory of Jacqui and the loss of Robbie came flooding back. All the horror and tragedy of that day momentarily filled his thoughts.
He was shaken for a fleeting second. Eddard, always the model of composure in the face of crisis, was surprised by the tightness in his throat.
His brief lapse was subtle, a rare ripple in his usual calm. In an instant, he regained his focus. But he knew this brief stumble had weakened the Rapport he’d carefully built with Jacqui.
And then she said something that made his blood run cold:
I know what you’re trying to do. Thank you, but I know what I have to do. Don’t blame yourself, I’m going to put the phone down …
The line went ominously silent.
There was no doubt in anyone’s mind about what this meant! The tension was palpable.
In that critical moment, Eddard had mere seconds to respond. Later, we agreed that he had no more than three seconds to come up with whatever he could to save their lives.
Remember what I said at the opening of this chapter? What if it was your job to divert Jacqui from her dark path? How would you keep your composure? What would you say?
You’ve got three seconds.
Secretive and Powerful Forces
In those few desperate moments, a chilling silence hung in the air. Eddard had only seconds to create a miracle and change Jacqui’s mind. And all he had to work with were mere words.
All around him, his team were in disarray, unable to think or speak. How could anyone be expected to deflect someone off a path they are determined to follow with simple wordplay?
Yet, Eddard was a master of the 7 Skills, and his language had incredible potency.
The Power of the Subconscious Mind
He knew how to use the 7 Skills to harness something immensely powerful. He wanted to engage an unseen force that silently guides our deepest decisions, reactions and abilities, often beyond our conscious awareness.
This force is the secretive and powerful subconscious mind.
Like an invisible puppeteer, the subconscious orchestrates the split-second reactions you can’t seem to control. We have seen it reduce capable people to helpless states in moments of stress and provoke erratic behaviour in those we try to help.
We also witnessed the transformative power of the subconscious mind. When harnessed skilfully, it becomes a potent ally, steering people towards positive and ethical outcomes – even against their conscious will.
Jacqui’s Struggle
You’re Not in Control of Your Mind!
Jacqui was not in control of her mind. Months of extreme trauma and a persistent state of doom and depression had relentlessly focused her subconscious on the belief that there was no hope.
This invisible power, now shaped by the darkest moments of her life, was guiding her towards a tragic end. It was a heart-wrenching testament to how deeply our minds could be influenced by despair.
Eddard’s role was to shift this outlook, break through the barriers formed by her wounded subconscious, and instil a glimmer of hope. His task was monumental: to rewire Jacqui’s subconscious, replacing the ominous thoughts of hopelessness with new ideas of possibility and a hopeful future.
His words were the tools; with them, he aimed to reshape her inner world, offering a path toward healing and redemption.
And this is what Eddard used the 7 Skills for.
He continued to use IMP to tap into his subconscious and enhance his performance.
He had been using Skill 4, Reveal Persuasion Pathways, to analyse Jacqui’s language and assess the best way to influence her.
With Skills 5, 6 and 7 – The Elevate Formula, Stay in Accord and Speechcraft – he searched for the words that would recruit her potent subliminal forces, tap into the recesses of her subconscious, and draw out her resilience and strength.
He would harness the power of her subconscious and guide Jacqui away from the path to oblivion, towards a better future for her and her children.
The Moment of Truth
In a heartbeat, Eddard started to talk.
He wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth. But he knew the 7 Skills would lead him where he needed to go with a deft blend of Resistance Breakers, Embedded Commands, Tag Questions, and Flow Words.
His subconscious was led by his Outcome, his calm ‘Managed State’ and the Rapport he’d built with Jacqui (IMP). And then – so it seemed to him – the words just flowed;
I know you’re going to put the phone down, and before you do, I’d like to ask you one question…
As simple as they seem, these three phrases were perfect. They were each designed to harness Jacqui’s subconscious from a different direction.
After a tense pause, Jacqui whispered, “OK.”
Eddard knew that the moment of truth had arrived.
Immediately and purposefully, Eddard set his sights on a new Outcome, the vital goal of finding Jacqui and her children and making them safe.
What he said next reached into her unthinking, automated subconscious and coaxed Jacqui to look at her situation from a completely different perspective;
“I don’t know if… you can imagine this now, feeding the ducks with your kids next week in the park.
I wonder if you… remember how much you & the kids love that, do you?
Although I’m not asking you to… think about that now.
I’m just curious … what advice you would give yourself, from that moment by the pond with the kids next week… which means … you can tell me where you are now … so I can help you”.
The Power of the 7 Skills to impress
When you have Rapport, Speechcraft at this level is almost hypnotic.
Eddard paused, knowing there was nothing more to say. The situation had taken everything out of him; he was spent. His mind turned to Robbie. He hoped he’d done enough to prevent another tragedy, but there was no hiding from failure in his world; he could only hope now.
The line was quiet.
But Eddard’s words had shifted Jacqui’s mindset, and she could now imagine the possibility of a happy future. She started to speak, trying to answer Eddard’s question.
And that’s the moment when Eddard knew he’d succeeded. (I explain this in Part 11, Skill 7 Speechcraft).
Her voice breaking with emotion, Jacqui began…
“Well, I suppose I’d say…”
She couldn’t go on; she collapsed into tears and, a few moments later, told Eddard where she was. She was in the park by her favourite lake, where she used to take her children to feed the ducks.
A fast-response car arrived within minutes and found Jacqui and her children safe!
Mastering the Invisible Forces Within You
Eddard Was in Control of His Mind
Jacqui’s story shows us something most of us rarely see: the subconscious mind, exposed under pressure, doing exactly what it was built to do.
But when harnessed, these forces can make you capable of things you wouldn’t believe possible when the stakes are at their highest. The same forces that almost led Jacqui down a tragic path were the very ones Eddard tapped into to bring her back.
The question is whether you can do what Eddard did and find your strengths when the clock is running? How can you transform moments of pressure and uncertainty into opportunities for brilliance?
This book goes beyond storytelling; it’s a practical guide to mastering the 7 skills that empowered Eddard to perform at his best when lives were on the line.
These skills are the key to putting the subconscious to work for you, rather than against you, so it will guide you through the most challenging situations life throws at you.
Prelude Summary
Jacqui’s story will return later in this series, but for now, her rescue marks only the beginning of a deeper journey.
What happened inside her mind in those final moments holds the key to understanding your own subconscious power.
As you read on, your challenge is to begin seeing that hidden force at work within yourself, to notice how it shapes what you think, feel, and do when pressure strikes.
Part 1 will help you understand what’s happening inside; in Part 2, you’ll learn how to take control of it.
What You’ve Just Learned and Why It Matters
You’ve just witnessed what happens when the stakes are sky-high, and someone knows how to stay in control.
Eddard didn’t save Jacqui and her children by luck; he did it by mastering the invisible forces that guide us all: the subconscious mind.
We saw how that hidden force had driven Jacqui to the brink, while Eddard used the same force, skilfully, to lead her back.
The truth is, you’re not in control of your mind: unless you learn how to be.
That’s the power behind The 7 Skills to impress™.
And this book is your guide to using them.
What’s Coming Next and Why It’s Important
In the next chapter, Basic Instinct: Stress or Success? You’ll uncover the ancient system that silently hijacks your thoughts, emotions, and performance when you’re under pressure.
- Why do some people freeze, while others thrive?
- Why do instincts betray you, even when you’re trying your best?
- How can you regain control, just like Eddard did?
This chapter gives you the key to understanding what’s really happening in those make-or-break moments.
Once you see the old software running in your subconscious, you can begin to rewrite it and unlock a version of yourself that others look to when it matters most.
UP NEXT: CHAPTER 1: Basic Instinct: Stress or Success?