Some people think mainly in pictures. Others hear a conversation playing in their head, go by how something feels, or need to work it out step by step. These are Sensory Preferences, and you can often hear them in the words people choose: “I see what you mean”, “That sounds right”, “It doesn’t feel right to me”, “I don’t think that adds up.”
Everyone uses all four, but most of us lean towards one or two, especially under pressure. You can find out which you lean towards with the Sensory Preferences Test, through the Library menu in the 7 Skills IDQ app. What follows are general tendencies with plenty of exceptions, so treat them as clues.
Seeing
People who prefer seeing tend to remember and decide in pictures, and often get their insights that way. If the picture is moving, there is a lot to describe, so they often speak quickly, and they can struggle to put an idea into words before they have shown it to you.
They like to be shown how something works and to see the big picture first. They prefer meeting in person so they can watch your reactions. Give them a long list of spoken instructions and they may lose track; draw them a quick map or diagram and they will see what you mean. They usually remember faces more easily than names.
Hearing
People who prefer hearing notice small changes in your tone of voice and respond strongly to certain tones. They follow sequences well and remember directions and spoken instructions more easily than most.
They learn by listening and asking questions, and they would usually rather talk something through than read about it. Many like to have someone to act as a sounding board while they work through a problem. Noise distracts them more easily than visual activity does, and they need to feel they have been heard.
Feeling
People who prefer feeling often speak more slowly, because they need time to get in touch with how they feel about what is being discussed. They are aware of their bodies and their feelings, and they respond well to physical reward and contact.
They learn by doing, moving and handling things, and they tend to make decisions on how something feels. They often dress for comfort ahead of appearance. In conversation they may stand closer to you, to get a sense of how you are, while someone with a seeing preference will tend to stand back to take in more of your body language.
Thinking
People who prefer thinking need to make sense of things and work them out. They learn by reasoning things through, and they remember steps, procedures and sequences.
They often hold conversations in their head, so they may remember discussing something with you when the conversation only took place in their mind. They like to think before they act, so don’t expect them to be spontaneous, and facts, figures and logic carry a lot of weight when they decide.
Using what you hear
When you hear someone’s preference, match it. Ask your questions and explain your ideas in the kind of words they use, and they will find you easier to follow. In Personal Magnetism, the lesson on Persuasion Pathways shows how this works in a real conversation, with examples for each preference.
You’ll find it in the Library of the 7 Skills IDQ app.