Realisation
Here’s a reminder of what I said about Realisation in the 7 Skills Book;
Realisation fuses your Outcome with your Identity. Together they guide your Edited Reality so it works for you, even when you’re stressed or come up against a dead end. Your attention will be drawn towards possibilities instead of obstacles, reducing stress and increasing confidence. Realisation is effortless. That’s why it works even in the most stressful moments. And you can do it on the hoof in any situation.
Realisation starts with a look ahead to you carrying out your Outcome perfectly and successfully. Assuming that you are performing exactly as you wish, ask yourself;
- What will I see?
- What will I hear?
- What will I feel?
- What will I think?
- (Of course, you can add taste and smell if they’re appropriate).
Next, ask yourself the same questions about what happens immediately afterwards. For example, you may see and hear applause after a talk or presentation. You may feel relief or joy. After an interview, you may hear congratulations, see happy faces and feel hugs from friends and loved ones.
I was pretty clear about what this meant for my Outcomes.
I could imagine seeing myself presenting as if I was in the audience or watching on a screen;
- In my mind, I looked like I belonged in front of the squad.
- I looked confident and in control.
- I sounded convincing.
- I could imagine feeling my voice in my chest, low in tone*, evenly paced, but loud and confident.
- My thoughts were focused on the moment and my job. No other distractions entered my head.
- I imagined all eyes on me. Glued to me, hanging on every word.
- They watched me as if they had accepted me and my purpose.
- At the end, I imagined them all roaring, banging tables, cheering and clapping.
*When we are nervous, our pace and tone of voice tends to rise. So I practice a low, calm-sounding style before public speaking.
Having my Realisation mapped out like this immediately started to fuel my confidence. I wrote it all out, which helped me take it all in.
Then I took it up a notch or two and ran through them in my mind as I did 7-11 Breathing.
But I wanted to do even more. I wanted to embed my Outcome so deeply into my System 1 that it took over the sifting and sorting process and lined it up to support my performance. And for this, I used my trusty High-Performance Imprinting process.
High-Performance Imprinting
High-Performance Imprinting (HPI) is probably the most relied upon and successful resource in the 7 Skills toolkit. It seems to work with everyone and work powerfully too.
HPI* works by ‘imprinting’ your Outcome (s) into your System 1 brain. Once there, it guides the sifting and sorting process to empower you. And it ensures that you focus on avenues for success rather than your fears and concerns.
In short, HPI is what turns your Outcome into a Stroop Magnet for your System 1 brain.
*Please note HPI is a meditative/hypnotic experience. It should not be done whilst driving or operating anything that requires your attention or focus. In my experience, doing HPI while washing your dogs can be messy.
Here’s how to do it.
Find a comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed. For the first few times, it may be best if you’re seated.
Step 1: SQAs
What SQAs do you need for the challenge you are preparing for? How do you want to behave, what state of mind do you want to be in, and what SQAs do you want to display? Select two or three; they can be the same or completely different each time you do this, whatever works best for you at the time.
Step 2: Realisation
Again, before you start, imagine what you will see, hear, think and feel when the occasion is going as well as you could have hoped. Take a little time over this. Realisation is unique to everyone and can change from experience to experience. Imagine it all as vividly as possible.
Step 3: Begin 7-11 Breathing
Breathe deeply and evenly (7-11 Breathing) for a few minutes. Listen out for 10 sounds that you can hear. Note them one by one. This should take some focus to finish, so if you’re in a noisy place, double the number to 20.
Step 4: The Guided Imagery
Then imagine* yourself nailing your Outcome(s). In the way you find easiest (most people close their eyes to do this), see yourself in your mind’s eye as if you’re in the situation in question.
*Some people find visualisation hard. But they can ‘think’ or ‘feel’ how they would be in their mind’s eye. So wherever I suggest you ‘see/watch’ yourself in this passage, replace it with think or feel if that works better for you.
You might imagine watching yourself on a cinema or tv screen or as a fly on the wall. See yourself displaying each of the SQAs. Notice exactly how you look and sound. What is your body posture like when you are showing these traits?
How do you stand, sit, move your hands, feet and so on? Notice how well those around you react as you show these strengths. What are the thoughts you have about this ideal performance?
Take your time, don’t rush.
Now move into your body easily and seamlessly, seeing these same images through your eyes. Notice how it feels to be this person doing so well. How does your body feel, how do you sound, your hand and feet movements and so on?
Watch how others in the scene respond well to you with your own eyes. What pleasing things do they say? Now focus on the good feelings you may have from enjoying this ideal example. Magnify them as much as possible. Allow them to spread around your body as far as they will easily go. Enjoy them for a few moments.
Now, in your mind’s eye, move out of your body and back to watching yourself. Repeat the above steps twice. So you’ll go through this external/internal routine three times.
Step 5: Take in Your Success
At the end of your third cycle, remain relaxed and focused. In your mind’s eye, move to a time after the event when you are taking in your success. Take a few moments to think about what will happen after hitting your Outcome(s). See all the pleasing scenes you can imagine that could take place. Who will applaud you? How are you likely to blow off steam? Or will it be a moment of quiet satisfaction?
Whatever it is, take a few moments to go through it in your mind’s eye. What sights, sounds, pictures, images, scents, and sensations will you encounter? You’ll find this phase a pleasure.
People often discover that they were more relaxed when they open their eyes than they thought. This is because this is a deep relaxation process that may take you deeper than you realise.
This is How I used HPI for the talk
I sat in a chair in my office. I knew it would be quiet, and I wouldn’t be disturbed. I closed my eyes and began 7-11 Breathing.
After a few moments, I started to listen to all the sounds I could hear. It was a quiet place, so there weren’t many. Someone walking along the corridor; a door opening and then closing; the sound of voices in the distance; birds singing, and the breeze in the trees outside.
My senses scanned around me, but it was harder to find a new sound. A car started up in the car park, there was a squeak from my chair, and now I could hear my breathing. My in-breath sounded different from my out-breath, so I counted them as two.
By the time I had counted ten sounds, I felt very calm. I felt heavy in my chair. I was ready for High-Performance Imprinting.
I thought of myself in the rugby clubroom. All the coaches, support staff and squad sat in chairs facing the bar. In my mind’s eye, I had my back to the bar, looking at this group of about fifty people. I imagined I was in the crowd watching myself.
As I thought of myself in that place, in my mind’s eye, I felt as if I was watching the best version of me. Talking confidently, my voice tone was low and strong. There was an intensity about me that was not typical. A calm authority. In my imagination, I was animated and engaging.
I then gently moved my viewpoint into my own body. I saw the crowd through my own eyes. I imagined them staring intently, hanging on my every word. I felt my voice in my chest, low, steady and firm.
And then, on an easy out-breath, in my mind’s eye, I moved back to watching myself from the crowd. I cycled through these two positions, external and internal, three times.
Then, in my mind’s eye, I moved to the end of my speech. I saw the squad leap to their feet, cheering, roaring, and applauding. They were banging the tables and creaming affirmative words as if they had been affected by my talk.
I concentrated on the thrill I would feel from this reaction. When I get this, it’s an uplifting sensation in-between my shoulders and the top of my spine. I focused on it as hard as I could.
All this took about 15 minutes. As I came back into the room, blinking, I felt like I was coming out of deep sleep. It always surprises me how deep this process takes me.
It was a week before the talk, and I did this every night before I went to sleep. Soon my Outcome to ‘blow everyone away’ didn’t seem cocky to me. It felt natural.
”HPI links Outcomes and Manage Your State…
…and targets the power of your System 1 on fulfilling your goals.
Also, remember these simple points about Outcomes and Manage Your State;
- As soon as you do Realisation, you begin to coach your System 1 Mind to reduce your nerves. You train it away from your fears and on to what success will be like. And it’s learning that you will remain safe, wanted, and respected through the challenge.
- 7-11 Breathing on its own will ensure you can rely on your abilities under pressure. It will help you apply your SQAs to good effect.
- 7-11 Breathing can be done on the fly anytime a pressure moment presents itself.
- It’s a good idea and enjoyable to practice 7-11 Breathing when you are calm. That will make it easier to do when you are stressed and need it.
Melt Away
Here’s a great technique to use anytime you feel tense. And it becomes ever more valuable as you learn your usual reactions to adversity.
For example, when I arrived at the rugby club to deliver my inspirational talk, I sat in my car in the car park for a few moments.
High-Performance Imprinting boosted my confidence. But as I pulled up in the car park, I began to feel tense. HPI had done its work, and I felt OK. I knew I could perform. But I also knew I could quickly get rid of this tension with Melt Away.
So, I stayed in my car for a few moments and got rid of it. This is how I did it.
When I get tense, I feel it in the centre front of my forehead. My clients have told me how they felt tension in their chest or back and some in their shoulder blades. Just about anywhere, actually. But when it’s that sort of strain that comes from worrying about something, it usually crops up in the same place.
And that’s why dealing with adversity gets easier as you get to know your typical reaction to it. This familiarity helps you spot something people are usually utterly unaware of. And then, with Melt Away, you can deal with it quickly.
As I sat in the car park, I was aware of this tension in my forehead because I had focused on it many times before.
The Four Steps for Melt Away
- Note where in your body you are feeling tension or stress.
- Describe the feeling to yourself in as much detail as you can, i.e. in your mind’s eye;
- How big is it?
- What shape is it?
- Does it have a temperature?
- Is it heavy or light?
- Does it have a colour?
- Step 2 has helped you focus fully on it. Now take a 7-11 breath, and while breathing out slowly, imagine you are ‘melting away’ this tension layer by layer.
- Each breath removes a layer, and the feeling of stress gets weaker and weaker. Repeat until the feeling has gone.
I’m very aware of my tension feeling. As I said, it’s in the middle of my forehead, right at the front. It’s heavy, hot and red! I don’t know why it’s red. That’s what it is in my mind’s eye, so that’s what I work with.
It helps to imagine the feeling is made up of layers, and each breath melts away a layer to reveal a milder layer of stress. Sometimes you get all the way through quickly with a couple of breaths. Sometimes it takes longer.
And by getting through, I mean you will find a type of calm relaxation. And with each breath, the tension subsides, and you take a step toward that end result.
It usually takes me six to seven breaths. With each one, the house brick shape of my tension gets smaller. It gets cooler and goes from red to yellow to pale cream in my mind’s eye. After about four breaths, it’s become a point of pressure – almost a little pain – right in the centre of my forehead.
Then, it’s gone in a couple more breaths, and I feel at peace.
On this occasion, I stopped at that point, got out of my car and went into the club. But at other times, I’ve played with exploring the feeling of being at peace. I’ve continued breathing to ‘melt away’ and explore what’s behind it. This can be very helpful as it will guide you to a positive place. For me, I find a feeling of calm confidence and self-belief.
So that’s the ‘Melt Away’ drill. Pay attention to where you feel tension in your body and give it a try. It will be a boon when you need to Manage Your State.
Up Next
How I built Rapport with the rugby squad, live in the clubhouse, before my speech. Click here.