Here I will cover Skill 6, Stay in Accord and Skill 7, Speechcraft. I’ll show you how these Skills helped me forge a stirring speech that boosted the rugby squad’s morale, belief and performance.
These are the tools we get from Skills 6 & 7;
- Pacing
- Flow Words
- Cause and Effect
- Resistance Breaker
- Embedded Commands
- Tag Questions
- Assumption
I’ll show you a process I use to make writing inspiring and influencing speeches easy. I’ll lay it out step by step so you can create compelling, stirring, almost hypnotic talks for yourself.
A message can only be inspiring if it moves the listener. It will only stir someone and lift them to be at their best if it changes their Edited Reality.
With these skills and tools, your inspiring words will bypass the resistance of your listener’s conscious. They will slip into their System 1. And once there, your message will shape their Edited Reality.
But when you use these skills and tools, they are hidden from your audience. They will have no idea that you have used my template and its compelling patterns. Your words will move them, and they will think they are listening to your natural language.
Let’s get started.
When I’m writing, the first stage of the template is to define the difference I want to make with my speech.
Step 1: Describe the Current State and Desired State
I start with two statements, the ‘before and after’ if you like.
- The first statement reflects the ‘Current State’. By this, I mean the thinking, the frame of mind or the argument I’ve been asked to address.
- Then I’ll describe the ‘Desired State’. That is, the state of mind I’m seeking to lead people to. The outlook I want to inspire within them.
I had talked with the assistant coach before my speech. He’d described their ‘Current State’ as feeling they were not good enough for the league. They knew they had talent, but as a young group, results suggested that it was too early for them to compete at this level.
The desired state had helped shape my Outcomes for the speech;
- To inspire them to believe they are winners.
- To feel they can compete with any team in the league.
Now I’ve clarified the starting point and goal, I build a journey, in small steps, from the current state to the desired state. I begin by writing down the start and end states – like this;
1. We are not good enough.
2. You can compete with any team in this league. And that makes you winners.
It’s pretty clear that it’s a giant leap from one state to the other. The players lacked confidence, and results hadn’t gone their way. They were not ready to bridge that gap and believe they were good enough.
At times like this, I keep Identity and Persuasion Pathways firmly in my mind. This is what I mean by that;
- Towards/Away From: Their season was going badly. Their coaching sessions focused on mistakes in the hope that would help them to remove them from their game. Obviously, this focus acted as a Stroop Magnet so they weren’t getting better. And they developed an “Away From” mistakes mindset, rather than the desired “Towards” their SQAs way of thinking.
- Sameness/Difference: The squad are in “Sameness” mode. They think the “same” things will keep happening. They can’t see how it could be “different.”
- Self/Other: In the EF sense, they were not connecting their Identity to their SQAs.
So I turn that giant leap into a series of short steps. Each step is only a small degree of change, and each one is a shift in the direction of the Desired State.
Each of these shifts is a thought, a phrase, or an idea. And each one has to be credible and genuine. I’ll lose the group if I go too quickly.
How many steps I choose is based on how large the gap looks between the two states. I might go for five or six for a very tough job. But I’ve found that three or four almost always do just fine.
I chose four shifts for this speech. So now I write it out like this:
1. We are not good enough.
–
–
–
–
6. We can compete with any team in this league. And that makes us winners.
I’ll take you through all four shifts and explain them one by one.
Here’s the first one I worked out to follow on from “We are a young team, not good enough to compete at this level”.
1. We are not good enough.
2. You’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
–
–
–
6. We can compete with any team in this league. And that makes us winners.
My first shift (No. 2 above) reflects that they’ve competed except for the first 15 minutes of each match. Apart from that period, they had always done well.
You’ll recall I tee’d this idea up in the Rapport section of my talk. So this was a slight change in their thinking and very credible. It also led me nicely into the next step (No. 3).
1. We are not good enough.
2. You’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
3. Small changes can make a big difference.
–
–
6. We can compete with any team in this league. And that makes us winners.
In other words, they would not go behind if they were sharper in the first 15 minutes. And then they’d be competing to win the game rather than trying to claw back lost ground.
Again, I had Tee’d this idea up in my Rapport talk.
Next comes shift No. 4;
1. We are not good enough.
2. You’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
3. Small changes can make a big difference.
4. You apply pressure when you focus on your strengths on what you do well.
–
6. We can compete with any team in this league. And that makes us winners.
You’ll remember I’d got the squad talking about their strengths in my opening. And I’d got them talking about how they put their opponents under pressure.
I also used one of my favourite maxims in that part of my talk;
“Under no pressure, an ordinary team can look world class. But pressure can make a world class team look ordinary”.
And so my next shift (No. 5 below) had been subtly set up and felt like a credible step towards the Desired State;
1. We are not good enough.
2. You’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
3. Small changes can make a big difference.
4. You apply pressure when you focus on your strengths on what you do well.
5. Any team can buckle under pressure.
6. When you do this, you can beat any team in this league. And that makes you winners..
I felt these four shifts had taken me close to the desired state. Now we have four small and credible steps to bridge the gap between the Current and Desired States. It was no longer a giant leap.
At each step, it’s OK to polish the sentences to help them flow and fit together and suit your purpose. For example, note how the Desired State phrase (No. 6 above) has changed from the original – “We can compete with any team in this league. And that makes us winners”.
Step 2: Pacing
Once you’ve got this far, you have what amounts to a series of direct, bold sentences. The problem with such blunt wording is that it creates resistance.
So I need to phrase them to make the ideas acceptable, compelling and influential. And this is precisely what the drills and tools outlined in Skills Six and Seven are designed for.
I start with the powerful ‘Pacing’ tool from Skill Six, Stay in Accord.
Take a look at the first phrase;
‘We are a young team, not good enough to compete at this level’.
Clearly, that can’t stay as it is. Starting an inspiring speech with that sentence would be a real downer.
And yet, it’s no good denying it because that is the squad’s ‘current state’. If I did I’d lose credibility and trust in their eyes, and then, my influence is gone.
That’s why I nearly always change the current state phrase into a pacing statement.
And so, I changed the first line to;
“You may not be thinking that … you are good enough to compete at this level”.
The “You may not be thinking…” Pacing Statement also works as a Resistance Breaker. I think of RBs as the keys to a closed mind.
When I say, “You may not be thinking…”, I am matching their state of mind exactly. The squad agree – they do not think they’re good enough. So, there’s nothing for them to resist.
Which means my RB key has unlocked their minds, and they are open to what I say next. And so, my command – “…you are good enough to compete at this level” – slips directly into their subconscious.
“For an Embedded Command to work, the command has to stand out a little.
This helps System 1 to pick up on it.
I always pause so there’s a separation between the RB and the command. Then, I speak the command phrase as if it’s a new sentence.
I also talk a little louder and faster. Often I’ll point or move my hands to mark out the phrase even more.
On this occasion, I pointed towards the players as I spoke to really mark out the second half of the sentence.
In reality, I’m telling them, “… you are good enough to compete at this level”. But I’ve used an RB to mask my words and slip that sentence past their conscious resistance. And so, It slides easily into System 1 and shapes their ER.
The passage now looks like this;
1. You may not be thinking that… you are good enough to compete at this level.
2. You’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
3. Small changes can make a big difference.
4. You apply pressure when you focus on your strengths on what you do well.
5. Any team can buckle under pressure.
6. When you do this, you can beat any team in this league. And that makes you winners.
This ‘journey’ from Current to the Desired state is now a pretty good read. You could almost read it out as it is. It would be much more effective than the typical “you can do it” exhortations the squad were used to.
But it’s still too direct to be really inspiring. We will do more with it to make it irresistible.
Step 3: Insert Resistance Breakers, Embedded Commands and Cause and Effect.
(See the list of Resistance Breakers here)
Next, I take the list of Resistance Breakers and add one at the start of each sentence. I select them fairly randomly. This will turn each phrase into an Embedded Command.
1. You may not be thinking that… you are good enough to compete at this level.
2. I heard someone saying… you’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game.
3. And you might be surprised how… small changes can make a big difference.
4. So we’re all wondering when you’ll… apply pressure by focusing on your strengths and what you do well.
5. Because… any team can buckle under pressure.
6. Which means... you can beat any team in this league. And that makes you winners.
Again, I slightly changed phrases 4 & 6 to make them flow better.
Did you notice that I used Cause and Effect statements as Resistance Breakers for phrases five and six?
As I said in Part 2, Skill 6 – Stay in Accord, a Cause and Effect phrase subtly suggests a connection between two events. It’s used to imply that an ‘Effect’ will follow after a ‘Cause’.
I often use ‘because’ and ‘which means’ in the last two sentences of a passage. Cause and Effect are irresistible to System 1 and hugely shape Edited Reality.
Note how the Resistance Breakers (RBs) have turned all these sentences from direct to indirect commands. I had Rapport, so the squad were receptive to my message. And so I could be sure that these RBs keys would bypass their System 2 resistance and slip these suggestions into System 1. And once there, I knew they’d have a massive effect on the player’s Edited Reality.
But we’ve just got started making this an inspiring message. Now we’ll see what difference adding tag questions makes.
Step 4: Add Tag Questions
These clever little influencers will help the message flow and create a subliminal willingness to agree with my suggestions. This is so easy to do.
I won’t overdo it. I don’t add a Tag Question to every phrase.
1. You may not be thinking that… you are good enough to compete at this level.
2. I heard someone saying… you’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game… haven’t you.
3. And you might be surprised how… small changes can make a big difference… don’t they?
4. So we’re all wondering when you’ll… apply pressure by focusing on your strengths and what you do well.
5. Because… any team can buckle under pressure… can’t they?
6. Which means... you can beat any team in this league. And that makes you winners… doesn’t it?
Step 5: Flow Words
This simple tool will stitch all the sentences together and create a seamless and compelling flow. To help show this, I’ll lose the numbers. The Flow Words are in capitals.
You may not feel like… you are good enough to compete at this level. SO WHEN I heard someone saying… you’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game… I THOUGHT YOU HAVE, haven’t you? And you might be surprised when you see how... small changes can make a big difference… don’t they? AND so we’re all wondering when you’ll… apply pressure by focusing on your strengths and what you do well. BECAUSE… any team can buckle under pressure… can’t they? Which means... you can beat any team in this league… AND that makes you winners… doesn’t it?
This is the first passage of my speech complete, and I like it. Following on after the Rapport piece, where I teed up some of the suggestions, I saw it as a solid lever to shift the squad’s Edited Reality.
For the next stage of the template, I draw on the mighty Elevate Formula.
Step 6: Elevate Formula
The point was to make the losses seem Other, Fleeting and Narrow. Their SQAs have to be framed as Self, Lasting and Broad, and good enough to compete.
To do this, I make up a bunch of phrases that match the key elements of the Elevate Formula. The phrases will be relevant but can be quite random. Once I’ve got enough, I’ll stitch them together to make a coherent and influential passage.
This is how I started;
1. Make the problem Other, Fleeting and Narrow.
- You’ve had a tough spell while this new team has been coming together.
- It can take time for a new side to gel.
- And you are getting stronger with every game.
- Your familiarity will grow as you get used to playing with one another.
- When you look back on these few games later in the season, you’ll see how the seeds of your success were already growing.
- The way it’s all coming together, you can burst through this spell anytime.
- When you hear the opposition complaining and see them wilting, you know inside this is your time.
2. Make their SQAs Self, Lasting and Broad & good enough.
- And you’ve already shown that this team has skill, power and strength.
- Your ability to keep going will tell.
- At times the quality of your rugby has matched the best in the league.
- Who knows the heights you’ll hit when you decide to bring that from kickoff?
- With this squad’s skill set, you can confidently look forward to the rest of the season.
- With your skills, you can avoid the early setbacks and get on the front foot early in the game.
Now I randomly fit those sentences together. Then I follow the same process as above, adding Resistance Breakers, Cause and Effect, Tag questions etc.
Finally, I read it through and edit the sentences to help them flow and sound more natural. Take a look at this final passage and see if you can spot all the tools from Skills 6 & 7.
Looking back, you might find it easy to forget to remember that… you’ve had a tough spell while this new team has been coming together.
Everyone knows… it can take time for a new side to gel. And more quickly than you might imagine … your ability to keep going will tell, won’t it?
And you’ve already shown that this team has skill, power and strength. And it’s surprising how quickly, with every game, you are getting stronger, isn’t it? If you… notice how it’s all coming together; then… you’ll burst through this spell anytime.
Gradually and gently… your familiarity will grow as you get used to playing with one another. It might not be until later in the season … when you look back on these few games, you’ll see how the seeds of your success were already growing… won’t you?
And everyone knows that… at times, the quality of your rugby has matched the best in the league. And … who knows the heights you’ll hit when you decide to bring that from kickoff?
With your skills and strengths, you can avoid the early setbacks and get on the front foot early in the game. Then you’ll feel like you are on top and see the pressure you are putting the opposition under.
When you see them wilting and you hear the opposition complaining, you know inside this is your time.
Which means… with this squad’s skill set, you can confidently look forward to the rest of the season. Because you are winners.
I felt this was a powerful passage to follow the first part of my talk. And one that utilises the power of the Elevate Formula to helpfully shift the ER of the squad into believing the tough times are over and they are good enough to be winners.
Now I move to the final pieces in my inspirational speech template, metaphor and Assumption.
Metaphor
Stories are a powerful way to convey a message. They capture attention and draw people in. Pick a theme that has some interest for the audience, but it doesn’t have to match their field. In fact, it’s better if it doesn’t because then their personal experiences won’t get in the way. If you have Rapport, the listeners will align themselves with the events you are narrating.
I picked a belter of a story to act as my Metaphor for the rugby squad.
At that time, I was coaching a bunch of fighters in a Muay Thai gym. They were a fantastic group and wonderful to work with. I selected bits and pieces of stories from sessions I’d had with the gang and stitched them into one account.
The Outcome of this part of my talk was to make the squad feel invincible. Especially if they went behind in the game. Note how I work at linking the idea of a fighter entering the ring to my audience crossing the ‘white line’ into battle.
I also appear to occasionally stumble over my words and repeat a phrase. That’s a trick I use to turn the phrase into an Embedded Command.
Also, can you see how I use the fighter’s quotes as Embedded Commands? I was pretty lively at this point. And every time I quoted ‘Dave’, I pointed at the squad, shifted my volume, and said ‘You”.
This is what I said;
“Working with you guys reminds me of a Muay Thai fighter I coach. His name is Dave, and he has a fantastic mentality. Considering the battering he takes every fight, I asked him what his state of mind is when he climbs into the ring.
He told me his only focus is on his skills. He said,
“When you cross the line… YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE SKILLS TO HURT ANYONE. I don’t think about my opponent… I only think about… ONLY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE GOT TO PUT THEM UNDER PRESSURE, FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS AND APPLY THEM. That’s all that’s on my mind”.
“I was impressed, but I thought he can’t be on top all the time in this brutal sport. So I asked him, “What do you do when you’re under the cosh? ” Dave said,
“I believe… WHEN YOU ARE GETTING BATTERED, THAT’S WHEN YOU ARE MOST DANGEROUS”. Your opponent thinks he’s on top, but when you’ve got a good defence… you can… USE YOUR DEFENCE TO APPLY PRESSURE… WORK HARD, DON’T LET THEM LAND A TELLING BLOW… FOCUS ON YOUR OWN STRENGTHS AND SKILLS… and the longer he’s on top but not getting anywhere, the more pressure he feels… and when he’s under pressure, he reveals his weaknesses… and that’s what I’m waiting for… I’m ready to pounce… and then I’m on top. And that’s the moment he realises he can never beat me…
There are some great suggestions in this passage. The idea of being at your most threatening when you’re under pressure is very empowering. I was working to put the notion into their heads that they could put the opposition under pressure with their defence in the most difficult passages of play. And instead of feeling like they were being ‘battered’, I wanted them to feel strong and in control as they waited for their opponents to show them a weakness to exploit.
This metaphor does all that beautifully. And as I delivered it, the squad were totally hooked. They looked on open-mouthed. I could tell they were living the story as if they were in it.
Add An Assumption of Success
Assumption is a clever ‘sleight of mouth’ method. If you are in Rapport, it helps you to slip in the idea that success is a foregone conclusion. It works in such a way that your ‘client’ will simply accept that idea. It’s a fabulous way to close a speech.
I used this one to put the idea in their heads that they have an immediate opportunity to turn things around. And also that they will come to be feared and respected.
“So enjoy this time because this is the only period when other teams won’t see you coming. Very soon, they’ll see how you’ve gelled and will know what you bring. I’m not saying … they will fear you – I do know they’ll respect you.
“After the game this weekend, when you’ve put a marker down and shown everyone who you really are, what will you have done to make that happen?”
Did you note the ‘Assumption’ in the last paragraph? I ‘assumed’ that in the game that weekend, they would put a ‘marker down’ and show everyone who they really were are. I’m working to link their Identity to my suggestion that they will be feared and respected.
It had a lot hanging on it. It was the end of my talk, and I needed them to answer the question. If they did so, it would show that they had accepted the Assumption and all the messages throughout my speech.
The Crowd Goes Wild!
I stopped talking, paused, and there was a pregnant silence. My heart was pounding. Did this work, or was it going to fall flat?
Then the room erupted. Even in my Realisation, I hadn’t imagined such a strong reaction. The players were shouting out what they would do in the next game. All their SQAs, belief and determination came flowing out. Then they burst into a round of rowdy applause.
“A job I had not fancied one bit had turned out to be a triumph. And even better, the team went on a long unbeaten run”.
It was all down to The 7 Skills to impress™, which once again had blasted me through my glass ceiling and got me to perform well above my natural level.
Here’s a summary of everything that went into that speech, followed by the words in one long uninterrupted passage. Check off the tools and drills as you go through them.
Preparation
- Outcome
- Realisation
- Manage My State
- High-Performance Imprinting
- Melt Away
The Talk – Setting The Scene
- Getting the squad talking
- Rapport
- Persuasion Pathways
- Listening out for and utilising their keywords and phrases
- Using a varied sensory language style.
The Talk – The Inspiring Bit
- The Current State to Desired State Journey: How many steps?
- Stay in Agreement & Speechcraft
- Pacing
- Flow Words
- Cause and Effect
- Resistance Breakers
- Embedded Commands
- Tag Questions
- Elevate Formula
- Metaphor
- Assumptions
And here is the speech in full;
Rapport with the squad.
You may not be thinking that… you are good enough to compete at this level. So when I heard someone saying… you’ve played the top teams in this league and given every one a good game… I thought you have, haven’t you? And you might be surprised when you see how... small changes can make a big difference… don’t they? And so we’re all wondering when you’ll… apply pressure by focusing on your strengths and what you do well. Because… any team can buckle under pressure… can’t they? Which means… you can beat any team in this league… And that makes you winners… doesn’t it?
Looking back, you might find it easy to forget to remember that… you’ve had a tough spell while this new team has been coming together.
Everyone knows… it can take time for a new side to gel. And more quickly than you might imagine … your ability to keep going will tell, won’t it?
And you’ve already shown that this team has skill, power and strength. And it’s surprising how quickly, with every game, you are getting stronger, isn’t it? If you… notice how it’s all coming together; then… you’ll burst through this spell anytime.
Gradually and gently… your familiarity will grow as you get used to playing with one another. It might not be until later in the season … when you look back on these few games, you’ll see how the seeds of your success were already growing… won’t you?
And everyone knows that… at times, the quality of your rugby has matched the best in the league. And … who knows the heights you’ll hit when you decide to bring that from kickoff?
Which means… with this squad’s skill set, you can confidently look forward to the rest of the season. Because you are winners.
Working with you guys reminds me of a Muay Thai fighter I coach. His name is Dave, and he has a fantastic mentality. Considering the battering he takes every fight, I asked him what his state of mind is when he climbs into the ring.
He told me his only focus is on his skills. He said,
“When you cross the line… you know you have the skills to hurt anyone. I don’t think about my opponent… I only think about… only think about what you’ve got to put them under pressure, focus on your strengths and apply them. That’s all that’s on my mind”.
I was impressed, but I thought he can’t be on top all the time in this brutal sport. So I asked him, “What do you do when you’re under the cosh? ” Dave said,
“I believe… when you are getting battered, that’s when you are most dangerous. Your opponent thinks he’s on top, but when you’ve got a good defence… you can… use your defence to apply pressure… work hard, don’t let them land a telling blow… focus on your own strengths and skills… and the longer he’s on top but not getting anywhere, the more pressure he feels… and when he’s under pressure, he reveals his weaknesses… and that’s what I’m waiting for… I’m ready to pounce… and then I’m on top. And that’s the moment he knows he can never beat me…
“So enjoy this time because this is the only period when other teams won’t see you coming. Very soon, they’ll see how you’ve gelled and will know what you bring. I’m not saying … they will fear you – I do know they’ll respect you.
And after the game this weekend, when you’ve put a marker down and shown everyone who you really are, what will you have done to make that happen?”
Where are Jacqui and her Children Now?
I felt pretty good on my way home. I’d taken myself from a state of dread about doing this speech to absolutely nailing it. The result was very rewarding.
And then my thoughts wandered to Eddard and Jacqui, and my mood changed pretty quickly.
My speech to the rugby squad was such small beer compared to saving Jacqui and her children. I felt so grateful for that day all those years before. And for what we achieved with Eddard’s strength, determination and skill. That was the moment that The 7 Skills to impress™ truly came to life.
And years later, I’m living a life I never dreamed of when I was curating the 7 Skills just to keep my act together as a Firearms Commander.
But I’ll never forget that day or Jacqui and her children. I’m almost ashamed that the moment was soon lost in the flood. The jobs we had back then just kept coming, and the last one was quickly debriefed and forgotten. We would just take a breath and wait for the next.
Only after I retired, when I look back at the pivotal moments for The 7 Skills to impress™, did I see how that moment mattered.
As I drove home, I hoped Jacqui had found peace in her life. I wished that her children were growing healthily and happily. Although I can’t thank Jacqui or acknowledge her in person, I’m glad I can do so in this book.
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