This chapter shows you how to be at your best under pressure. It covers simple drills to remain calm, confident and effective in testing times.
These routines use your Outcome to stop System 1 from taking over and shutting down System 2. This means all your talents are available to you, no matter the stress you’re under.
Manage Your State makes your Outcome central to your thoughts and focus. In this position, your goals shape System 1s sifting and sorting to create an Edited Reality that supports them.
These effortless drills are called;
- 7-11 Breathing
- Realisation.
Fight, Flight and Freeze Hits Me
I was with my team from work at a prestigious business conference. We were the headline speakers, and I’d arranged the presentation as a ‘thank you’ to my colleagues. Some of our work had gained national recognition, and I wanted them to enjoy a bit of credit before my approaching departure from the Police Service.
We were sitting at the front being introduced, and I was feeling relaxed. One of my team, my old friend, Brisey, was a bit of a performer. He’d written a comedy script around which we’d developed our talk. It was well crafted and funny, we were looking forward to presenting it.
And then, out of nowhere, nerves struck…
I saw a man in the audience whose clothes, hairstyle and stature all reminded me of my stepfather. During my childhood, my stepfather subjected me to regular beatings. In later life, I was diagnosed with PTSD as a consequence of this treatment. I thought I had dealt with this. Apparently not. FFF struck!
My presentation style is informal. I like to interact with the audience and ad-lib a little, and the presentation had been built around that. But I knew that if I didn’t sort my nerves out, I’d freeze. I’d be stumbling and stilted. It just wouldn’t work.
The introductions were coming to a close, so I had to sort myself out quickly.
Emotions Intensify in Adversity
As much as we like to believe we are in control of our reaction to events, Identity is in charge. We have surprisingly little influence over its work and the emotions it creates within us.
In our every waking moment, we hear sounds, recognise faces, interpret expressions, sense temperature, think about tasks and challenges, access memories, see colours, and so on.
In the deep recesses of our minds, System 1 and Identity sort and sift all this information to shape our Edited Reality. The result is our unique version of the ‘truth’. A ‘reality’ whose profile matches our Identity.
Edited Reality triggers within us a variety of mental states and emotions…
From moment to moment, we can feel anything from fear, disgust and anger to happiness, relaxation or love. According to some studies, we can experience 27 different emotions. In adversity, these states can be incredibly intense.
And that’s what had happened to me right then and there, at the front of the room. My Identity sensed an echo from the past. It dredged up old memories of the beatings and humiliation I suffered as a child. It bounced me into survival mode and triggered FFF.
Even a milder version of FFF focuses our ER on all its fears and concerns for us. It’s hard to tear your attention away. Remember the Stroop Magnet? It switches off our System 2 higher-level thinking and holds us back.
So what can we do about it? How do we get our Outcome and Identity to work together and drive the behaviour and performance we need? The answer is to engage a simple, natural process that stops FFF firing.
And Breathe…
Right at the onset of FFF, the heartbeat changes. And it doesn’t just become more rapid. It also becomes erratic. When your pulse is regular, it’s described as being in a state of ‘Cardiac Coherence’.
And the precise signal for System 1 to shut down the thinking brain is when your heart’s rhythm goes from ‘coherent’ to ‘chaotic’.
As soon as the interval between heartbeats becomes uneven, System 1 takes over and shuts down System 2. But if we keep the heart’s rhythm steady, we retain System 2 thinking and our ability to reason and problem-solve under pressure. So how do we do this?
Surprisingly, the secret is to breathe through your diaphragm or stomach. Humans breathe either through the chest or through the diaphragm. With diaphragm breathing, our stomach moves in and out. But when we are under pressure, our instinct is to breathe in short and irregular breaths through the chest.
Breathing through the chest in this way triggers the uneven, ‘chaotic’ heartbeat, which is the signal to shut down the thinking brain. So if we can keep breathing through the diaphragm in pressure moments, we maintain Cardiac Coherence and keep our composure.
This, together with ‘Realisation’, is the secret to composure under pressure. Resist the urge to breathe through your chest. Breathe through the diaphragm and keep your thinking brain switched on.
But when you are stressed, breathing automatically shifts to your chest. It’s hard to counter. You have to practice when you’re calm so you can do this under pressure. I recommend you practice something called 7-11 Breathing. Give this a go, it’s a pleasant experience.
7-11 Breathing
Begin by sitting up straight in a chair. (With practice, you’ll be able to do this standing up and even on the move. But to begin sitting comfortably is ideal).
Move one hand to just under your ribs at the top of your stomach. Place the other on the upper part of your chest. Keep breathing normally and become aware of which hand is moving in and out as you breathe.
Adjust your breathing slowly until only your lower hand is moving. When this happens, it means that you are using your diaphragm to breathe.
This may take some getting used to. You might have to force your stomach in and out to get it going. When you are comfortable with this, allow your hands to relax.
Pay attention to your depth of breathing…
… and its rhythm and pace. Try to make your out-breath longer than the in-breath. An effective way of doing this is to breathe in, to the count of 7 seconds, then breathe out gently and more slowly to the count of 11 seconds.
7-11 Breathing works because it follows the laws of biology. If you breathe in this way, your heartbeat will stay in Cardiac Coherence or at least switch back to it from a chaotic state.
It may take a few minutes, but the body will respond regardless of what your mind is thinking.
A High IDQ Upgrade
7-11 Breathing would have been enough to help me at that presentation by itself. It would have allowed me to beat the stress response and perform despite it.
But I wanted more. I wanted to be at my best. So I did something else that gave me the confidence and belief to do just that. I used ‘Realisation’.
My Identity triggered FFF at the seminar in response to an echo from the past. When I was a child, up to my early teens, If I stood out for any reason, there was a good chance my stepfather would hit me.
So I learned to stay in the background and to keep a low profile.
At the conference, I was about to stand out as I took centre stage with my colleagues. And then, my subconscious detected someone in the audience whose appearance reminded me of my stepfather.
It put these two cues together, jumped to the wrong conclusion, and my System 1 decided I needed to get out of the limelight.
This was a reaction to a danger that no longer existed. My Identity was running out of date ‘software’, and FFF was the last thing I needed to help me at that moment. I needed an update to shift my Identity away from obsolete programming.
For this to happen, I needed to lodge my Outcome deep within my subconscious mind. So deep it would be acting as the software update my Identity needed. ‘Realisation’ is the tool for this job.
Realisation
Realisation fuses your Outcome with your Identity. Together they shape your Edited Reality, so it works for you, even when you’re stressed or come up against a dead end.
Your attention will be drawn towards possibilities instead of obstacles, reducing stress and increasing confidence.
Realisation is effortless. That’s why it works even in the most stressful moments. And you can do it on the hoof in any situation.
The steps are simply to ask yourself, “What will success be like”. And then wrap your senses around the answer;
- What will I see?
- What will I hear?
- What will I feel?
- What will I think?
- (Of course, you can add taste and smell if they’re appropriate).
Realisation works because…
… it retrains the focus of System 1. In your mind’s eye, you move out of the present into the future. And so, the problem or challenge you face is now behind you.
You are coaching System 1 to understand that it has an end; it is ‘Fleeting’.
The more vividly you create this future image, the more completely System 1 will accept the shift. So, conjure as clearly as possible all the colours, sights, feelings and sensations, scents, sounds, thoughts and ideas that come to you when you imagine your success.
When you do this together with 7-11 Breathing, your mind is in the perfect state to absorb the messages you are sending it. It acts almost like self-hypnosis.
Composure Returns
So at the conference, I sat there, 7-11 Breathing. I was sitting in front of the whole audience, but no one could see what I was doing. And I thought about what I wanted to achieve. I mentally set these Outcomes;
- To be calm and confident.
- For my thoughts to flow freely.
Next, I thought about what I wanted to happen during our talk and when we’d finished. I hoped I’d see and hear people laughing; lots of applause, handshaking and slaps on the back afterwards. That was enough for me.
So as our introductions were ending, I turned slightly in my chair and looked at the audience behind me. I looked from face to face. Still doing 7-11 Breathing, I imagined them all laughing and smiling, nodding their heads in agreement. I envisioned them all applauding and shaking my hand afterwards. That was all I had time for. We were on!
The 7-11 Breathing exercise and Realisation released the dam that was holding back my potential. My heartbeat returned to an even rhythm, and my thinking brain switched back on.
My composure came back, along with a sense of the thrill and gratitude at being invited to speak at the conference. With that all in place, my Outcomes began to work in harmony with my Identity.
I still felt adrenalin as I stepped onto the stage. But now, it wasn’t blocking my strengths, I didn’t need to fight it. So I used it. I breathed it in and felt it coursing through my body. I knew it would make me more alert and present.
My mind was free…
The script and all the ad-libs went well. We got a standing ovation, and the organiser said that in 21 years of this conference, it was the best presentation he’d ever seen. That accolade wasn’t just for me, obviously. Our content was strong, the script was good, and my colleagues were excellent.
But in that moment of pressure, I had turned myself from a liability into an asset. Live, on my feet, in a couple of seconds, I overcame FFF, grabbed hold of my System 1 and refocused it on a perfect performance. And it obliged!
Knocking All This Together Into a Helpful Summary
There are three easy steps to giving yourself wings in adversity;
- Identify Your Outcome
- Manage Your State 1: 7-11 Breathing.
- Manage Your State 2: Realisation
These steps link your Outcome and Identity. So, even under pressure, your Identity will scan, sift and sort to create a High IDQ Edited Reality that supports your performance. And if you hit a brick wall, your Identity will reset, and you will continue to search for other routes to success
Use The Adrenalin
You will still feel the adrenalin that adversity brings. But now, it is not triggering FFF, you can put it to use. I encourage my elite sports clients to welcome adrenalin. With every inward breath, feel it coursing around your body. It’s there to make you sharper, faster and stronger.
Take The Quiz For This Chapter
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What’s next
So far, 7 Skills to impress™ has been all about the building blocks to being calm, confident and at your best under pressure.
Now it’s time for you to influence and inspire.
In the next chapter, you’ll learn how ‘Practice Rapport' harmonises the work of ‘Outcomes’ and ‘Manage Your State’ while beginning to develop powerful influence.
Practice Rapport is Next Click here.
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Index
Glossary of Terms
References with Summary
References:
- Self-report captures 27 distinct categories of emotion bridged by continuous gradientsAlan S. Cowena,1and Dacher KeltneraaBerkeley Social Interaction Laboratory, Department of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley, CA 94720
- Peng, C. K., Mietus, J. E., Liu, Y., Khalsa, G., Douglas, P. S., & Benson, H. (1999). Exaggerated heart rate oscillations during deep breathing in panic disorder. American journal of physiology-Heart and circulatory physiology, 277(2), H601-H608.
- Tan, G., & Ng, G. (2015). The effects of diaphragmatic breathing on stress-related physiological and psychological responses in healthy individuals: A randomized controlled trial. Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine, 2015