Capability: Our innate confidence to succeed at a task or challenge
Capability is a natural way of thinking summed up by the Elevate Formula. And it is an integral part of Safety, Belonging and Esteem.
Our sense of Capability, how able we feel to handle life’s challenges, is central to our Identity and self-esteem.
People with a low belief in their Capability tend to think they are not good enough when stress or adversity strikes. Those with strong beliefs in their Capability are more likely to believe in their abilities.
These beliefs about our Capability are deeply ingrained in our subconscious. And they drive our behaviours and outlook when we face difficulties.
The Elevate Formula (EF) sums up the thought patterns behind High or Low IDQ.
EF is so crucial to confidence and performance in adversity that it is its own skill, Skill 5 of the 7 Skills to impress™. There, we look at how to use it to build bulletproof mental strength and to make our language naturally inspiring.
In this chapter, we’ll see how the Elevate Formula reflects a person’s Identity at a Capability level.
The Elevate Formula is Deep!
The Elevate Formula is encoded deep in our subconscious programming. When anxious, we filter hardship through three perceptions:
1. Self or Other: Is this my fault or caused by external factors?
2. Broad or Narrow: Will the impacts spill into other areas of my life or remain contained?
3. Lasting or Fleeting: Is this challenge here to stay, or will it pass quickly?
These filters influence our readiness to navigate life’s difficulties. Those who see trials as Other, Narrow and Fleeting cope best under pressure.
They retain belief in their enduring strengths. Reframing challenges this way is crucial to resilience.
They’re the essence of Capability, and they impact how we approach problems, how we feel about ourselves, and how we interact with the world.
The diagram above neatly sums up The Elevate Formula and Capability.
Great Shot!
Two of my friends, Grumps and Noisy, are the perfect opposites and show what this is all about. We play doubles tennis every week, and their reaction to a few bad shots is as funny as it is instructive.
For Grumpy, just one poor shot is enough to set him off moaning. He’ll begin to mutter things like, “Why can’t I just hit the flaming ball… That’s it. Here I go again…. Why can’t I play like I do in practice…? It’s always the same. I’m rubbish….”
He’s got a good game inside him, but he hardly ever performs to his potential.
I place Grumpy on the above chart from the bottom looking up, because he interprets his mistakes as;
1. Self: It’s always due to his poor performance.
2. Broad: It’s always the same, every game.
3. Lasting: A mishit is never a one-off for Grumpy. It’s always a “sign” of things to come.
Grumpy doesn’t have faith in his Strengths, Qualities and Attributes (SQAs) to help him succeed. Looking up from the bottom of the chart, Grumps sees them as;
1. Other: He views a good shot as unusual.
2. Narrow: Even if he has a good game, he doesn’t expect to play well in the next.
3. Fleeting: It doesn’t lift him when he plays well because he thinks the good spell will soon pass.
Noisy is the opposite. He’s hilariously over-optimistic. He’ll knock the ball way out and say out loud, “Superb shot!” Asked to explain how a bad miss could be described that way, he’ll say, “My timing was a millisecond out, otherwise, it was perfect!”
Noisy’s position on the chart is at the top, looking down. He sees his mistakes as:
1. Other: It’s not about his ability. He never doubts that he’s good enough.
2. Narrow: After a bad shot or even a bad game, he’s confident the next one will be good.
3. Fleeting: The mistake is over and behind him almost as soon as it happened.
And Noisy is confident in his strengths; he sees them as:
1. Self: In difficult times, he backs himself and his abilities to win through and succeed.
2. Broad: In any moment or challenge in his life, he believes he’s got what it takes, and will show as much sooner or later.
3. Lasting: A poor spell is unusual. His talents are always there, ready to burst out at any moment.
So that’s how my friends see a problem: through the lens of The Elevate Formula. It’s ingrained in their Identity and creates their Edited Reality.
Noisy doesn’t have the self-doubt that grips Grumps. It’s easy to see how the EF fuels his confidence and resilience. That’s why he feels ‘Capable’ when the chips are down.
Our sense of ‘Capability’ reflects our scores on Safety, Belonging and Esteem.
People who score well for Safety, Belonging and Esteem ‘know’ their Strengths, Qualities and Attributes (SQAs) are ‘good enough’ for the challenges they face. In other words, they believe they are ‘Capable’ people.
And, of course, the opposite is true. People who don’t score well in the first three levels of our Identity Model have little confidence in their abilities.
And that’s why I said at the top of this piece;
Capability is a natural way of thinking summed up by the Elevate Formula. And it is an integral part of Safety, Belonging and Esteem.
Sense of Purpose: Living Life with Ambition, Motivation and Intent.
People with a Sense of Purpose have a presence. They are curious, interested and goal-oriented.
Someone who feels safe can look up and be aware of what’s happening around them. If they think they fit in and belong, they will feel part of things and want to shape them.
A good Esteem score means they are used to airing their views and being taken seriously. And the Elevate Formula empowers them to back their skills against any problem they face.
All this adds up to a desire to contribute, a belief that they can, and a sense that doing so gives life meaning. It leads to ambition, motivation and intent.
The human drive to feel useful can be traced back to our earliest history. Those of our ancestors who contributed to the survival and well-being of their tribe were more likely to be valued, supported and protected, and so more likely to pass on their genes.
Over time, traits linked with contribution became deeply rooted in us.
It’s where our need to show that our skills and abilities are of value comes from: to feel part of something larger than ourselves, and to know that what we do matters.
It’s no surprise, then, that modern research shows the same pattern. People who live with a strong Sense of Purpose, what the philosopher Aristotle called ‘Eudaemonia’, don’t just feel more fulfilled. They show measurable differences in their biology, including lower inflammation and stronger immune systems.
Our bodies respond when we believe our lives have meaning. Sense of Purpose is not just a feeling; it’s healthy.
When people feel they are not ‘useful’ and not valuable to society, anxiety grows, purpose fades, and Identity weakens. A Low IDQ follows. It can create disruptive behaviour as the mind searches for ways to feel seen and valued again.
And so, if you believe you are a ‘useful’ person, you feel of value to your community. That belief is a big step towards a High IDQ. It gives a sense of direction, meaning and fulfilment, the quiet satisfaction of knowing that what you do matters.
Identity: Your Innate Self-Image.
So what is Identity? It’s the sum of your primal instincts around Safety, Belonging, Esteem, Capability and Purpose.
Identity is like our code, our ancient “operating system” that shapes how we sense and respond to the world. It runs quietly in the background of our minds.
Identity shapes our Edited Reality. Every waking moment, it Filters, Sifts and Sorts to match every event and encounter to our beliefs about how the world works.
This code is built from all our beliefs in each intertwined layer of the 7 Skills Identity Model.
The 7 Skills Identity Model is not presented to you as an ordered list…
… but rather a system, an Identity Matrix, in which each layer complements the others. There is a flow and logic to the order I’ve chosen for the Model, but it wouldn’t be a problem to change it around a little.
Belonging improves Safety, and Esteem strengthens Belonging. And without a high Capability score, a High IDQ in the other layers would not be possible.
However, Safety is the foundation of the entire Identity Model. Many sources support the idea of Safety as the seed ground of human development and a moral code.
If you remove it, all the other elements collapse. The other layers are interlinked but don’t prop up the others in the same way.
So, no, the Identity Model is not a hierarchy. But Safety is the foundation for the other layers to stand upon. And a Sense of Purpose stands on the shoulders of the rest of the Model.
Our Identity is the accumulation of all the traits from the layers of the Identity Model.
Emerging from these layers are key features of our nature, which form a huge part of who we are and shape our instincts, how life affects us and how people come to see us.
Learning about our Identity and its effect on us allows us to take back control. By decoding the hidden cues in our language and behaviour, we can trace the invisible threads from our past to our present.
With the 7 Skills to impress™, we can trace those threads and reshape the limiting Identity Beliefs that have been quietly running our lives.
Later, I call some of these beliefs Sacred Flaws: the old conclusions about ourselves we learned to protect, even when they keep us smaller than we need to be.
Once we can see the code, we can start to update it.
What You’ve Just Learned and Why It Matters
In The Identity Matrix, you uncovered what truly drives human behaviour:
Identity: an ancient operating system built on Safety, Belonging, Esteem, Capability, and Purpose.
These five core instincts form the structure of your self-image. Together, they quietly shape your confidence, influence your reactions to stress, and colour how you see every challenge.
You discovered how:
- Jacqui’s despair wasn’t irrational. It was the collapse of an Identity stripped of hope, purpose, and self-worth.
- Ananya’s panic echoed childhood experiences shaping her sense of Capability and Esteem.
- Eddard’s calm came not just from training, but from a deep, internal sense of Safety, belonging, and belief in his ability.
You also began to see how a person’s IDQ, their Identity Quotient, can predict how they perform under pressure. When your IDQ is strong, confidence flows naturally. But when it is low, your subconscious constantly scans for rejection, failure, or danger, even when none exists.
What’s Coming Next and Why It’s Important
In How Identity Secretly Pulls Your Strings, you’ll discover the three hidden levers that complete the Identity Model, and reveal how deeply your reactions are programmed:
- Identity Beliefs: Spontaneous, unguarded thoughts that reveal what you really believe about yourself.
- Internal vs External Reference: Do you measure your worth from within, or wait for others to tell you you’re OK?
- Towards vs Away From: Do you instinctively pursue goals, or avoid risk?
These hidden settings influence everything, from the words that tumble out when you trip or misspeak, to the courage (or fear) you bring to big decisions.
You’ll see how a subtle shift in Tumbril the cricketer’s Identity turned a career of near-failure into international success.
And you’ll start to recognise your own unspoken Identity Beliefs: the quiet assumptions that have been editing your reality, limiting your potential and pulling your strings without your awareness.
This is where real transformation begins. Because once you see the code, you can start to rewrite it.
UP NEXT: CHAPTER 5: Chapter 5. How Identity Secretly Pulls Your Strings.
A rich and insightful story that purposefully builds on everything that’s come before:
Previous Chapter
Index
Glossary of Terms
Further Reading
Maslow, A. H. (1943).
A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396.
https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346
Introduces the hierarchy of needs, with Safety and belonging as the bedrock of human growth.
Bateson, G. (2000).
Steps to an Ecology of Mind: Collected Essays in Anthropology, Psychiatry, Evolution, and Epistemology. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Explores how systems of mind and environment interconnect, with Identity emerging from relational patterns.
Dilts, R., Grinder, J., Bandler, R., Cameron-Bandler, L., & DeLozier, J. (1980).
Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Volume I: The Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience. Cupertino, CA: Meta Publications. ISBN 0916990079.
Examines how language structures experience, forming a foundation for understanding subconscious identity patterns.
Marcia, J. E. (1966).
Development and validation of ego-identity status. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 3(5), 551–558.
https://doi.org/10.1037/h0023281
Defines four identity statuses that describe how people explore and commit to values and roles.
Erikson, E. H. (1968).
Identity: Youth and Crisis. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.
Classic work framing Identity as a lifelong psychosocial process of integrating self and society.
Cross, S. E., & Madson, L. (1997).
Models of the self: Self-construals and gender. Psychological Bulletin, 122(1), 5–37.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.122.1.5
Shows how culture and gender shape independent and interdependent self-concepts.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985).
Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. New York, NY: Plenum Press.
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4899-2271-7
Establishes Self-Determination Theory, with autonomy, competence and relatedness as essential for motivation.
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995).
The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497
Demonstrates that belongingness is a basic human drive essential for psychological well-being.
Bandura, A. (1977).
Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
Shows that belief in one’s Capability predicts motivation and resilience under stress.
LeDoux, J. E. (2012).
Rethinking the emotional brain. Neuron, 73(4), 653–676.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2012.02.004
Explains the brain’s fear circuits and how they drive automatic fight, flight and freeze responses.
Porges, S. W. (2004).
Neuroception: A subconscious system for detecting threats and Safety. Zero to Three, 24(5), 19–24.
Introduces neuroception, the subconscious process by which the nervous system scans for cues of danger or Safety.
Schore, A. N. (2001).
The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1–2), 201–269.
https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(200101/04)22:1%3C201::AID-IMHJ8%3E3.0.CO;2-9
Shows how early relational experiences shape emotional regulation and developing brain systems.
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2010).
The Foundations of Lifelong Health Are Built in Early Childhood. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University.
Explains how safe, stable and responsive early environments shape healthy brain architecture and lifelong learning capacity.
Herman, J. L. (2015).
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence: From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror (Rev. ed.). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Shows how loss of safety and power fractures identity and moral reasoning, and how recovery restores both.
Storr, W. (2019).
The Science of Storytelling: Why Stories Make Us Human and How to Tell Them Better. London, UK: William Collins.
Explores how narrative psychology and identity construction make stories central to human meaning.